If Bees Made Money They'd Buy Their Own Honey.
A Poem By Me


Tap, tap, tapping on the windowpane.

Feeding the flowers and the trees

Giving a bath to the birds and the bees.

And while it’s making everything wet

There’s one thing that I can’t forget.

All the neighbor kids are FINALLY back at school 

And I can’t use my fucking pool!


(i didn’t say it was gonna be good) Happy Thursday!

My coffee smells terrific..

It’s Gloria Jean’s Butter Toffee. I kinda love it.

Let’s play another game of “Is it going to rain today or are we just going to have a lot of scary gray clouds that intermittently pass overhead?” My patio chair covers would really like to know.

Why is it that tree trimmers think the best time to shred tree branches is in the early a.m.? You’re ruining my great coffee experience!! Related, can’t somebody invent a branch shredder with a silencer on it? Best. Idea. Evar.

The lady across the street booted her husband out of her life…except she let him come back to mow the grass. The funny thing about this is that HE DID IT…and then she booted him back out.  We shall call him clueless. We shall call her the QUEENNN! Because how the hell did she get him to do that?!! (I wonder if I could get him to build me a silent tree shredder!!)

I’m making up a rap song to the tune a cardinal is singing in my backyard. The Pope is doing the Rihanna part…sorry, couldn’t help myself.

Happy Tuesday..don’t burn your mouth!!

I haven’t been around much lately, and when I am, I’m mostly a spectator. It’s funny what grief can do to you. Well, actually it’s not funny, but you know what I mean. So I have decided to concentrate on the positive and bring back the fun. So, who’s in?? Party at my house?! Great. You bring the food and the booze. See how easy that was?!!

I saw a girl at the grocery store that looked exactly like Cary Jo. Think about it. TWO monkeyfrogs!! Maybe it’s like in the soap operas..They were born twins in a dark hospital room, when one of the twins was whisked away and given to the nurse who always wanted a monkeyfrog baby. Years later they are re-introduced when JeeNeeBee sees the stolen twin in the grocery store…and, oh crap, I probly should have said something to her, or gotten a phone number, or, or… Let’s face it. I blew it. Maybe there was a triplet and somebody else will run into her at some random grocery store and then, for God sakes, don’t screw it up!!

Happy Monday. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

This pretty much covers how I feel about everything lately- “I want more!”
Well, That Was Weird

I went to one of these foofy, to-do, parties (i know, what was I thinking?) And the first thing I walk in the door, I get the “up and down”, “down and up” look from the two hosts. Like, I felt like I had just stepped on the Project Runway catwalk… and really? Could you be more subtle, Captain Obvious?!

So either I looked really, really, good… or really, really bad. I want to make it perfectly clear, I had absolutely no help from Tim Gunn. What’s the verdict Heidi??

Do you ever lose the urge to call your mom? Even though you know she’s gone?? I get this feeling at least five times a day.

Still tying up lose ends. We pick out the monument Thursday. I am a little too excited about this. All those years that my dad just had that little headstone that kept sinking into the ground with all the crab grass growing over it. A monument, with the family name, is a fitting tribute to a great mom and dad who raised eight beautiful children. That’s right, I said beautiful. (i do look pretty great today)

Oh and my sister is going to be a grandma. It’s a boy! They found out yesterday. Of course it’s going to be a beautiful child. Yep, that’s us…The humble family. Have a Happy Tuesday!!

Going to take my first shot at seriously enjoying the summer. All the house guests are gone and it’s going to be the hottest day of the year. I’m expecting to look like a lobster by days end. Get out the cocktail sauce!!

Today I was proud and honored to be with my family as we watched our beautiful mother be laid to rest next to my father, forever. A beautiful love story that now has a happy ending!

  On Friday night, my mom went to heaven to be with my dad. (They have been apart for 46 years.) She was 92 years old and was SO ready to go be with him. I cry because she’s gone, but I’m so glad that she went. We cared for her, the last 7 weeks of her life, in the home she grew up in and raised her 8 children. She has lived in that house for 90 years of her life and that is where she took her last breath. We were all there surrounding her bed as she left for a far better place. I am honored to have been one of her caregivers and I can honestly tell you that I couldn’t have done a better job. I learned more about that lovely lady in these last few weeks than I did in my whole lifetime. I’m proud and honored that I was allowed to be present for her transition to the great beyond. Alice was one hell of a woman and I will love her forever and always.

My mom, she’s an angel up in Heaven now. I will love and miss her forever. Shes dancing with my daddy right this very moment!!