You Know That Old Saying?..Robe Wasn't Built In A Day?
Spring=cute little cotton wrap-around robe. Summer=who needs a robe?! Fall=cute little cotton wrap-around robe. Winter=big, thick, long, weighty, white, terrycloth robe. So, today, we’re just gonna skip right past that cute little cotton wrap-around robe and move right on to the big, thick, long, weighty, white, fluffy, “I look like a Polar Bear”, terrycloth robe, ..because the weather sucks THAT bad. But first I have to go find Arnold Schwarzenegger to come help lift it for me. Yes, it’s THAT heavy.
'The boy' didn't have a football game this weekend. (It was their 'bye' week). The ONLY weekend of the football season that we don't have to go to a game. So what did *we* do? Ohhhh, we went to an MSU football game…and THEN a high school homecoming football game…and NOW we're watching more college football games on the tv. Boy oh boy, I'm so glad we didn't have to go to a football game this weekend, because that really would've stopped us from going to all these football games this weekend. And what time do those NFL football games start tomorrow?!
Housewife goes to watch television. Man is already there. Man wants to watch football or baseball. Housewife sticks nose in air..rolls eyes..shows disgust… has visions of enjoying a comedy based program. Small (teeny-tiny) argument ensues. Housewife gives in. Housewife and Man watch baseball. 60 seconds later~ Housewife hears Man snoring. Housewife grabs remote… does happy dance *quietly* in head, while changing channel. Housewife WINS. Man has no idea. Still snoring. Housewife loses interest in watching tv. Goes to tell fabulous story on tumblr. The End :)
There’s something outside in the tree. It sounds like a crying baby. It’s probably one of those tiny squirrels, or a cat bird, …but not a baby, right? Really, is there such a thing as a cat bird? Regardless, it’s loud, and kinda painful to listen to. I mean, it can’t be a baby, right?!! Who would put a baby in a tree? Oh God, I’ll be right back. I HAVE TO go take a look. You can never be too sure. You just don’t know my neighbors!!
Today I went in the pool. The second day of Autumn and I went in the pool. The water wasn’t really warm, but it wasn’t really cold either. And I wasn’t quite ready to give up Summer without putting up a fight. That’s just the way I am. “Me and the sun.. WE ARE ONE!!” So I went in, yep I did, ..on a raft. And as I looked around, I couldn’t help but notice.. that it was just “me and the leaves”, floating in the pool… So, yeah, I’m ready to give up now! But don’t make me say “Uncle”.
If You're Feeling Bad About Yourself..Go To A Funeral?
Today I went to the funeral of a dear man, who ran a local bar and restaurant. Everybody knew him. Everybody loved him. He was awesome, kind, witty, and happened to have an incredible family as well. In fact, my niece married his youngest son..so it’s like we were family. I used to party with three of his boys. (Hell yeah, I hung out with the guys…so what!) Did I mention that they were gorgeous? Momma didn’t raise no fools. Such good times! Anyways, I saw people I hadn’t seen in years. Like since high school. It seems everybody gets caught up in their everyday lives and before you know it, you’re *gulp* old, and not feeling so great about yourself when you get ready to go out. Nothing seems to look good on you. What will these people think when they see you, after all these years? Man, did she let herself go? If only I had lost those 15 pounds! But hey, it is what it is. So I bit the bullet, and went to say “hi” ..and was greeted with hugs and “wow Jeannie, look at you, you’re still hot” ..when you never really knew that you used to be! And that’s when I remembered why I hung out with, and loved these guys SO much. And OH MY GOD, we need to hang out more, because, really, when’s the last time your old girlfriends told you “you’re still hot”? Uh huh! And that’s why I love funerals. No, WAIT, … (This is so wrong)
Funerals make people say the dumbest things. My number one favorite: “He looks so good”. My inner response is: “No, he looks dead, and that’s not good. He looked MUCH better when his eyes were open and he was breathing”. (But, you know, maybe that’s just me). My second favorite. “He’s in a much better place now”. My inner response: “Oh yes, by all means. He looks really comfy in that silk lined box..or metal tin..whatever the case may be. And soon he will be in the ground. A MUCH better place, indeed.” Honestly, I know people mean well, but a good hug and a “if you need anything, just let me know, I’m here for you and always will be” works just fine. Leave your personal assessments, of the deceased person’s current state, in your edit box. The grieving family thanks you. …And who picked out that tie?!!
I love taking pictures with my camera. So this week, instead of just taking pictures of my son, I decided to start taking pictures of some of the boys that I knew would otherwise probably never have a photo taken of them. And to my surprise, THEY LOVE IT!! They are going nuts! I am overwhelmed by their response. Most of the guys on the team, have taken my pictures and made them their profile pics, on facebook,..and THAT makes ME ‘smile’! And I already can’t wait till the next game, so I can try to include even more. Cause …I love taking pictures with my camera.
Sometimes It Happens To People You Know..And That Sucks.
Today a young man, who went to high school with my youngest son, was charged with two counts of murder. My husband coached him in football. He came from the nicest family. *We’re shocked*. Devastated actually. Jeff (my boy) said it made him feel sick. How does something like this happen? Where did he go wrong? How did his life become so terrible that he had to resort to this. All kinds of things are going through my head. He shot two people. Two people he knew. It’s so tragic. I keep thinking maybe there was something someone could’ve done to keep this from happening. But what’s done is done. And two people are dead. And his life is pretty much over now too. And his family will never get over this. Never. Things like this only happen to other people…in another town. This changes everything. Sometimes it does happen to people you know…AND THAT SUCKS!!!
"Block him. Hit him hard. Knock em down. Then do it again..and again..and again". That’s right. Do EVERYTHING I taught you NOT to do when you were little. (Yep, goin to the boys football game, again, today.) …"Hurt em, kill em"..(sorry, no hurting, or killing,..gotta draw the line somewhere) Raising kids is hard and sometimes contradictory.
Today is my dad’s birthday. He would’ve been 92. He would’ve been the loudest cheerer at my 8th grade, and high school graduation. He would’ve been the best ‘walker of me down the aisle’ at my wedding. He would’ve been the best grandfather to my kids. He would’ve been a lot of things..but he was taken from us when he was only 47. A man who struggled so hard to stay with his wife and eight kids, but medicine, at that time, had nothing to offer him. So here is my advice to everyone who has lost a mom or dad: Don’t be sad for the time you didn’t have together~ You can’t change that. Cherish the time that you did have. Hold on to your memories and carry them with you always. That way, they’re never really gone. Today is my dad’s birthday and I’m not going to be sad (okay, maybe just a *little* bit). But mostly I’m going to smile and remember the good times. He really, really, was such a great guy. Happy Birthday Dad!!!
I Really Can't Remember the Last Time She Was Home!
I really can’t remember the last time she was home. I think it was Easter. I’ve seen her a couple of times (at her place) since then, but THIS time she’s coming HOME. There’s *nothing* like when they’re home. ..Sleeping in their room. Waking up in the morning and coming out for cereal (because God knows, I’m not going to cook). Her cheery good morning, Maloo! (that’s what she calls me)..always with a smile on her face. Checking out all the new changes we’ve made, around the house, since the “last time”. Her stealing “my place” on the couch (and I don’t even care)! And we’ll hug a lot..and we’ll talk a lot…and we’ll laugh a lot…and we’ll probably eat a lot, cause we bought all her favorite foods. And did I mention we’ll hug a lot? Yes, we will. …And then we’ll shop. Cause “that’s what we do”. We’re experts at it, and we haven’t done it in a looong time. Oh, I’ve shopped without her, here. Had to. But THIS time I’ll get the “cool stuff”, because Kaloo will be there. (that’s what I call her). It’s going to be great! I know this already. Not a doubt in my mind. Yes, I really can’t remember the last time she was home, but I know it’s been a long, long, time. And I can’t wait to see my baby girl when she gets here on Wednesday! *insert smile here*
For the love of God, it’s Grandparent’s Day!! Who made this up? I’m guessing Hallmark. Last year, this day caused SO much grief. A certain someone in the family, (we shall call her “Bitter”) had convinced sweet, lovable, adorable, Grandma that nobody cared about her, because she didn’t get ONE Grandparent’s Day Card, from her grandchildren, in the mail. And Grandma, being a little ‘on in her years’..believed it. The only “grandchildren” who truly loved Grandma were?…Hold on to your hats…Answer: “Bitter’s” cats. Who miraculously sent Grandma a Grandparent’s Day card. I know what you’re thinking. Cause I’m thinking the exact same thing. THESE ARE SOME TALENTED CATS!!! And where did they get stamps? And how the HELL did they get to a store to buy a card?!! ..Anyhow, when “Bitter” let me know that Grandma was upset, because none of her Grandchildren cared about her anymore.. (except the cats, of course) I became upset, and then my boys and daughter became upset, because they love their Grandma like nobody’s business. They call her often to let her know and visit when they can. Sooo my boys were pissed. My daughter cried. And Grandma felt unloved. We called her and assured her that a piece of cardboard does not hold the key to our love for her and that she means more to us than she can ever know. But this year, today, when I just found out that it’s GRANDPARENT’S DAY…I’m not gonna lie, It FREAKED. ME. OUT. Cause, “holy mother of pearl”, we forgot to send cards AGAIN. And I just know, those goddamn cats already have their shiny little card hanging on the fridge. Can you hear them snickering in the background? Me-Ow. Thanks a lot, freaking Hallmark!
100 years ago the Governor of Illinois was giving a speech that prominently featured a story about one of your ancestors. What did he say?
He said: About hundred years ago (104,to be exact) Jeannie B’s Grandma, Emelia, came to America..on a boat, from Poland, all by herself, at age 14. She lied and said she was 16. It wasn’t a luxury liner..it was a freighter. It was a long, miserable trip. ..But it brought her to America. What an adventurous young woman! She eventually met the man of her dreams and raised a wonderful family of 4. The matriarch of a whole new American family (mine). Then one by one she watched them leave her: Stella while giving birth, Henry-killed in action, in 1944, when his bomber went down, then her beloved husband, Alex. Next Jeannie B’s dad, from diabetes~he needed to be on a dialysis machine and there was only one for the whole state..the line was too long :(, and then several years later, her youngest, Leo, succumbed to diabetes too. Emelia went on to become the bingo queen of Michigan playing 27 cards at a time…Sometimes more! She prayed every night that God would take her to be with her family again. She ate greasy Polish food EVERY day and had a “highball” EVERY day. She lived to be 98 and died on All Saints Day..because except for the lying to get to America thing,..she was a Saint. The moral of this story is: If you lie, you can get to America, raise a family, play bingo, eat badly, drink much, and live to be 98. God Bless America!
I just spent the last 3 hours and 33 minutes with my best friend, ..my little sister. We drank beer, we laughed, we giggled, ..and got a little teary-eyed. We caught up on all the family news and, at one point, I even showed her around the front yard. “So what’s the big deal?”, you might say. Here’s the big deal, ..she’s in Arizona and I’m in Michigan..and we did it all on Skype. Gotta love these new fangled devices!! ..It’s the next best thing to being there. (..Somebody really should pick that up as a slogan.)
I’m sure this has happened to all you “stay at home” mom’s, every once in a while. ‘The Man’ comes home from work, and gives you that “didn’t you do anything today” look. Yeah, you know the one. Kinda judgemental, looking down at you, like he’s the Jolly Green Giant and you’re a rotton baby sweet pea. Yeah, THAT look. So, “yep”, I say to myself, “I didn’t do anything today. And I didn’t do anything yesterday either. BUT, tomorrow, when you come home,..I’ll mess up my hair a little bit, pretend like I’m finishing up cleaning this AND that,..and moan a little bit. And everything will be juuust fine”. WORKS EVERY TIME! :)
Three computers wizards in the family, and not a one around ..when your computer decides to take another trip to the ‘dark side’. Oh, the horror, the inhumanity…(JK/LOL, no worries! With 3 computer freaks in the fam..we’ve got plenty of backups.) BUT STILL…
Everybody knows her. She the overachiever, the “look at me” girl, the “let me tell you about all the wonderful things I’ve done” girl. And I listened ..and I nodded ..and I considered her a dear friend. She could count on me, but I could never count on her…because, well, pay attention here..that’s what this story is about. “She was always soooo busy”. Wherever you were, no matter what day, what time..if you ran into her and asked how she was? Standard reply: “Oh, I’ve been soooo busy”. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it now. You’re a busy girl. Who isn’t? So this year, when her birthday approaches, and I go to make my yearly Happy Birthday call, (which I’ve never received in return) I think i’m going to skip it. I’m going to be BUSY. So very, very, busy. And meh, she probably won’t even care, because answering the phone will be one less thing she has to do …because, as we all know, SHE’S SOOO BUSY!!
Today, “I’m goin in”. Back to the scene of the crime. It happened 9 years ago, TODAY! (OMG, now that’s freaky. I couldn’t have planned THAT, if I tried.) But, I’m still going in. I know it sounds intense..but it’s just a crabapple tree. I was in it, (9 years ago) pruning branches, and took on one branch, that was just a little too big for the loppers to go through. But, I couldn’t let it go. I HAD to try to cut it. I wedged the loppers between another branch and full force, put my weight into it…and vo-walla, it cut right through. *SNAP*! ..and flew RIGHT AT MY FACE. Oh God, NOT the face!! Loppers AND branch. Right at my nose. You could hear the POP. Oh, the pop! And as quick as it happened, I put my hand to my nose. (I had always been told, if you break your nose, blood will come out.) So I put my hand up and immediately..it was red, full like a cup, hell..it was running like a faucet. I flew out of that tree, and ran to the door, calling for my son to call his dad at work. I couldn’t even go in the house. It would ruin the carpet. The porch was so bad, it had to be hosed off. I know. Gross. Sorry! ..So, long story short. I broke my nose,..like all the way through. (They say that’s really hard to do,..but I’m an overachiever) Had to have surgery to re-align it. Swore I’d never go up in that motherfucking tree again..but, here I go Captain…”I’m goin in”!!
(Footnote: After reading this back, I have to admit, I’m a little skeeved about going in, Captain!)
Had an amazing weekend with my kids. First we went to “my baby’s” college football game, in Wisconsin. I hadn’t seen him in months. He looked incredible, and I was as proud as I could be, when he got his first solo tackle, in his new position, on defense.Then, all too soon, the game was over and he was getting on the bus, (a little sad and disappointed because they lost). And just like that..I was saying good-bye to him again, sad, but proud that he is such a fine young man..the kind that’s not afraid to hug his momma in front of the whole team, and tell her he loves her. Aww. Then, back to Chicago, to my daughter’s apartment. Giggles, laughs, gossip, random acts of silliness, having dinner and visiting, with the remaining fam. So cool watching the Navy Pier fireworks from her apartment window. Awesome display. So tired from the football game, we passed out on the bed. Next morning packing, packing, packing. And then to Chicago Ohare to drop her off for her flight to Portugal. She’s a traveling fool, who’s only been back from South America for 3 days. And so..I say goodbye again. Sorry to see my lovely girl walk away smiling and waving..and I’m sad, but proud, that she is such a fine young confident woman who will return home soon and call me to say “I miss my Maloo”. And I know she really really does, cause I miss her more!! Two good-byes down. And we’re riding in the van, home to Michigan. My oldest is driving, sitting next to his dad..and I’m watching him from the back seat so proud that he is such a thoughtful young man. Thoughtful enough to take over driving, when he could see that his dad was too tired to go any further. And I try not to think about when we get home, ..because I will once again have to say my third and final good-bye, as he heads back to his home in Detroit. It will be sad. Yes, I will be sad for a minute or two..and then I will remember that I am proud of all three of my kids who leave me knowing that I have raised 3 confident, thoughtful, independent, loving children who are capable of living without their mother..but choose to keep her in their lives. And I already look forward to the next time I will see them again. Parting IS such sweet sorrow.
Me? Oh just watching ‘The Man’ get disturbed by slow drivers lingering in the fast lane, backing up traffic, slowing everybody down, watching everybody pass them..and not having a clue. Oh look, that lady is driving with her right foot on the dashboard. Mad skillz, lady. And we aren’t even in Indiana yet!
One lives an hour and a half away. One lives in Chicago. One is away at college. I haven’t seen any of them since our trip to New York, in early July. Tomorrow, #1 is coming home. We will load up the car and drive to Chi-town to see #2. On Saturday we will all drive to Wisconsin, to see #3 play his first football game of the season. I would like to apologize now, for the big scream you’re all going to hear when we get there! You might want to dig out some earplugs..
This concludes Susanimates Tumblr Training Session….for the tumblr impaired. We hope you enjoyed the show! Stay tuned tomorrow when she teaches us how to delete a reply. Seriously, how do you do that?!! Can you do that?!! …There’s sooo much I just don’t know…