If Bees Made Money They'd Buy Their Own Honey.

It’s a busy, busy, weekend ..and it just started. Spent the day moving #3 child’s stuff home from his apartment. Also had to patch a butt-hole. (large hole made with butt in the wall. Not a butt in the wall, but the butt hit the wall. Oh nevermind!!) It was labor intensive, but not to worry. I am the master of butt-hole fixology.

Now we are about to go get #2 child from the train station. I’d love to sit and chat, but..butt..I gotta go! Tomorrow is a day of rest, and then Sunday is Grad-gee-A-shun. I’ll miss you while I’m gone!

I’ve been thinking about it all day. Today was the day that ‘The Boy’ had to give his 45 minute presentation. The presentation that the Professor made the whole class reformat, so that he had to miss his birthday celebration and Easter. …No matter what I did today, it was the only thing on my mind.

Welp, I just got word. The presentation couldn’t have gone any better. In fact, it was awesome! He is ecstatic…and now he’s DONE WITH COLLEGE!! (Graduation is Sunday.) No doubt, there will be much partying tonight. In fact, don’t mind if I do. Would you care to join me? 

The only good thing about all this rain, is that we can put away all those nasty humidifiers.

One of my kids isn’t here for Easter, because Professor Asshole decided that everyone in his class needed to reformat their entire presentations, for their last class ever, next week. Therefore he spent yesterday and will spend all of today, in the library. Hence, he missed the family get-together, missed the April birthday celebrations (which included his) and somebody (me) didn’t get to hide Easter eggs (with candy and money in them) for the annual Easter egg hunt.

Yeah, you never-mind that they’re much too old for Easter egg hunts and such things. If I want to do it, I can do it.  

(Okay, I haven’t done it for years… but I’ve wanted to.)

Hey, Who forgot the jellybeans???

Happy Easter.

The mailman is early. The mailman is early!! …As you can see, this day is going prit-tee-slow. (Except for the mailman part. He’s running ahead of schedule)

You hear that sound? That’s the sound of another pound dropping off the ol’ JeeNeeBee’nster. Not to worry, folks. This weekend, after I eat the first two pieces of candy, it’ll be back on, faster than a piece of dust on a Swiffer duster.

I’m not really a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. It was fun while it lasted.

Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie…Ohhh, I get it now!!

Sing A Song Of Sixpence: 

First published in 1744, the rhyme is one of many rhymes depicting bakers putting “suprises” in baked items.

(ladies and gentlemen, I present you the first stoners)

And then I find them!

Every day for the past 4 weeks, my neighbor and I have been going for brisk walks. On one occasion, I lost my awesome snowboarder’s headband. Yo, it has velcro, so you can adjust it!! I was really sad, but too exhausted to go back and look for it. Later, that night, ‘The Man’ and I went back to the park for a short walk. I immediately scoured the premises for the missing head band. And then in the distance I saw a white tag gleaming in the sun. Eureka! My headband!! I found it.

This morning, we got ready to go for the usual scheduled walk. I told her to make sure to bring a scarf, because it was pretty chilly out. …And then I couldn’t find MY scarf. I quick grabbed a replacement and we proceeded to walk around the neighborhood. About 10 minutes into the walk, she goes “speaking of scarfs, look at that one” (laying on the side of the road) I look over and go “THAT’S MY SCARF”!!!

Seriously, what the hell is the matter with me? I immediately checked to see if I still had my underwear on.

First off, I didn’t know it was Tuesday.

-I’m still pissed off someone sucker punched my kid, in the face, and can’t be prosecuted because he wasn’t the intended victim. (I wonder if we can skip paying the Emergency Room fee, since we weren’t intending on visiting them.)

-My Zumba class for the next 8 weeks got cancelled. I’m a little excited because I don’t think I’m a Zumba-kind-of-girl… (mostly cause it involves exercise)

-I’m in charge for the next two days, and in the words of  Enrique Iglesias, ”Baby I Like It”.

-My mom’s having Easter on Saturday. FYI, It’s not Easter if it’s not on Easter Sunday. I think that means the ‘Regular Day Bunny’ will be bringing candy. (and, in the grand scheme of things, I guess I really don’t care, because, CANDY!)

-I still can’t believe my kid is graduating in 12 days. Guess I better clean up his room!

-I now know it’s Tuesday.

Why yes, I am staying up to watch a 10:30 Red Wing’s Hockey game, because apparently, I am a sport’s fan. Who knew? (Also, this is another reason why time change’s are a bad idea.) 10:30 here…7:30 in Phoenix. It’s way past half of our team’s bedtime. 

He got 6 stitches between the lip and chin. (One on the inside of the mouth.) He was standing in the wrong place, at the wrong time, when some irate dude started swinging at people. My boy was the first one he hit. (of course)

You raise them right. Teach em never to fight. He’s the nicest, kindest, person you’ll ever meet. And he’s big, and he’s buff. He’s a football player. A linebacker, for God’s sake!! You’re lucky I taught him never to fight, Mister Fist Thrower! …Or you’d be in the hospital …and you’d have more than the 6 stitches you gave my boy!! Jerk!

We didn’t have internet all day yesterday. (They’re coming today to “fix-it”, naturally, now that it’s already back up.) Anyways, the first thing I see, when I get back on, is that somebody sucker punched ‘the boy’ last night and he was waiting in the emergency room to get stitches. This is not how I wanted to wake up!

I dunno what is more disturbing. The fact that my hearts won’t stick, or the fact that I keep going back two or three more times to see if they will.