If Bees Made Money They'd Buy Their Own Honey.

I floated in the pool today. I floated in the pool today. I floated in the pool today.

I have been waiting to do that forever.

And I’m going to do it again tomorrow.

Plans. I got em.

Welp, we survived the dangerous thunderstorms, with rotation and all, despite the freaking out of the local weather man. Seriously dude, calm down, you’re going to have yourself a coronary.

Remember the days, when you could have yourself a good storm, without a “full feature weatherman showcase” on tv, of where the storm is now? And don’t get me started on the storm-chaser van. Who doesn’t love the ‘broken-up-coverage’ of a guy driving down the road in a heavy storm, while broadcasting pictures of his windshield? Hey buddy, we can’t see squat, your windshield is covered with pouring rain. But thanks for the heads up. Now, can we get back to regular tv? Oh wait, it’s just about time for the weather. Crap!

Everybody in the house is still sleeping but me. I’m on my second cup of coffee. Maybe I’ll switch to coconut rum and coke (the power of suggestion from Michele).

The pool has been open for over a week. So far the only thing to go in it, is rain.

Our new car is still in the garage with no plates. Damn the %*# Bank of Wisconsin for taking so long to transfer proof of payment. (it’s been a week)

Sometimes I go sit in the new car and pretend I am driving. (it’s been a long time since we’ve had a new car)

So far this is shaping up to be an exciting Memorial Day Weekend. (I should’ve gone to Chicago… I hear they have a Poop Deck there!)

We are now the proud owners of a brand new SUV. …Which we currently can’t drive because their bank is taking it’s sweet ass time getting proof of payment to our establishment, which we need to take to the DMV so we can get new plates. And if they don’t hurry, we will have to wait till Tuesday because, you know, long Memorial Day weekend, and God, don’t they know how many years we’ve been driving this crusty old mini-van?!

So it’s counterproductive to powerwash in the rain, right? Looks like I get the day off.

For those of you who think ‘stay at home moms’ have nothing to do all day, you are sooo, so wrong. (Wish I could stay and play. Happy Monday everybody!)

In other news~ We’re opening the pool today and we bought a new SUV last night. So I’m not going anywhere…except to do the happy dance.

I really want to open the pool. Last year the pool was open in April. (Best. April. Ever.) ‘Last Year’ was my friend. ‘This Year’ is a liar, and a tease. ‘This Year’ keeps taunting us with 75, and then we get rain and cold weather. And ‘The Weatherman’ is no better. He doesn’t know what’s going on, yet he still keeps throwing out 70’s and sunny forecasts like they’re coupons for free candy, to a fat kid. I’m really starting to hate ‘This Year’ and ‘The Weatherman’. I long for ‘Last Year’ and the sunny passionate days we spent together. But, alas, ‘Last Year’ is gone forever. So now I plead with ‘This Year’ to change it’s ways… and do it soon! Cause if the world ends this Saturday, I’m gonna be pissed if I have to go without a suntan.

Sushi, you made me LOL.

Way-sted on a Monday night.

Attended a First Communion party, today, at a bar. Gotta love my family!

When the heat is on, we can’t go above 68 degrees but when the air conditioner is on we can’t go below 75. This is my thermometer hell. Anyways, totally wearing a jacket… and yes, I did just turn it up to 70, but you didn’t see me do it. Right?

We’re very sorry our servers are busy. Maybe if we make you think about Japan, you won’t get so mad. Well played tumblr.. well played.

Nice day for a softball tournament, if you’re a duck… and you happen to play softball.

Stormy nights make patio furniture soggy.

Mourning doves mourn loudest in the morning, so they should be called morning mourning doves.

There’s a mosquito in my kitchen.

Even when you eat right, you can wake up with a headache… which is really a forehead ache, so why try to involve the rest of the head?

Our neighbor always has a large U-haul truck parked in front of his house. Exactly what kind of cargo are you shipping there buddy? In my mind, he works for the drug cartel, although he looks like a minister. Maybe he is shipping Bibles. Mass quantities of Bibles. Yeah, that must be it. If you need a Bible, hit me up, I think I know where I can find one for you cheap.

And finally, tree frogs are never in trees and Thursdays are weird… and noisy, and soggy, and achy, and possibly cheap. Will somebody come kill this mosquito?!

Around here, if you want it done, you have to do it yourself. The problem is, I don’t want to do it either. (I’m talking housework here, people. Housework.)

We’re going to look at a new car. Finally, “the years of the mini-van” are about to come to a close. Huzzah!

We went to a softball game. It was a beautiful evening. We won the first game, by the mercy rule. We were well into the second game, when along came the lightning. The ref, who looked like a man but was really a woman, (we will call her Pat) saw the lightning and stopped the game. We were down by 1 run, with one inning to play. And then the rain began. And so ‘Pat’ called the game, and we lost by forfeit. We lost to the Bat Rats. I don’t even know what to say next. The End.

Because who wants to cook on Mother’s Day?? Thank-you Five Guys Burgers!