I’m still here. I’ve just been really busy workin my ass off, fixing the mistakes made by the floor installers. Nice guys, poor craftsmanship. Three days of fixing stuff. I even had to put the dishwasher bottom back on and install two floor vents that the son said “he couldn’t do”. This was after I fixed his shoddy job installing the coving. I had to go back and fix several grout lines and every tile is scratched because they put on the grout using a scrap piece of tile. You can’t fix stupid, …and you can’t take scratches out of tiles, so, hey, would you like to come see my new scratched up floor? At least I don’t have to worry about anybody else scratching it now. Hell, they should hire me! I could be the brains of the operation. BAM!
And as for the tattoo meme? I don’t have any tattoos, but I could draw a nice one with a sharpie.
See ya later! Have a nice night. Also, take a drink every time I say scratched.. and win a buzz.
You get all excited cause it’s finally here. I mean you wait for it all Winter. The anticipation, the build up, and then, BOOM, you find it without warning. You buy it up, like it’s Apple stock, for only a penny. You feel so proud that you are the first person within miles to realize IT’S FINALLY HERE. (oh shut up, I was). And then when it’s gone…you go back to buy more, and.. and… Where the fuck is it? (yes, I said the “f-word” because dammit…WHERE IS IT???) And now you can’t find it anywhere. Believe me, I have looked.
Oh Summer Shandy how I love thee. I miss you. Come back! Where are you? (insert sad face here)
The floor installers are still here. I have learned many things about them in the last two days. 1) The man does not wash his hands after he uses the restroom. 2) They all have colds and cough freely into the air. (they are in my kitchen) I can feel the germs breeding as we speak. 3) They wash their grouting tools in my new sink. (clogged drains, here we come!) 4) They are super nice and really hard-working, so I can’t get mad at them.
I am not a germaphobe, but I will be spraying Lysol as soon as they leave. (i am totally a germaphobe)
It’s going to be another record breaking day. Yeah, I thought about breaking some records of my own but I’ll just let the weather do it. So I’m gonna drink my coffee and head outside to watch this 86 degree day happen. I imagine it’s going to be like watching paint dry. But who doesn’t love watching paint dry?
PS. They call it record breaking because it has never happened before. NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!!! This is going to be huge, right? Maybe I’ll just watch a little tv. first.
It was 80 degrees at the wedding, and there was a lady wearing a full length skirt and a long sleeve sweater on the dance floor. We were taking bets as to how long it would take for her to drop. It never happened, …but I bet she had major b.o.
Everybody has cupcakes now, instead of a great big cake. They were awesome. Sitting right there on the table. Nobody had to get up. And nobody had to watch me walk across the floor carrying five plates of cake. As usually.
The boy with the plastic beer mugs on his green suspenders asked my daughter to dance. Yes, she was mortified. I kinda was too. I tried to warn her. Apparently “run, Forest, run” was too confusing.
Welp, I’m back from the weekend St. Patty’s Day Wedding festivities. Thanks for not robbing our house!!
Chicago was swell. We were there twice. Once on Friday. Once today. (they have a serious neon algae thing going on with their river) Indiana? We were there way too long. JK. We love you too Indiana. We love you too.
PS. You don’t want to know what green beer does to you. You don’t want to know.
Cause we’re going to a wedding this weekend. A wedding on St. Patrick’s Day! I know, right? Who wants to take bets on how many green dresses there will be. I for one, will not be sporting one. I mean, I’m wearing a dress, it’s just not green. My fingernails on the other hand? Totally. (Actually on both hands, because on one hand would just look stupid, or like I forgot to do one, or ,okay, I’ll just shut up now)