May 2012
35 posts
Wuh Wahhhhhhh
I love getting ready for outdoor sporting events only to find out it’s raining.
I love getting emails for free Dunkin Donuts especially since there’s not one anywhere near our town.
I love opening TWO brand new bottles of expensive hand lotion only to find out they have expired and smell like the Incredible Hulk’s arm pits.
I love cooking an entire meal and then finding out...
Where did my short term memory go? (see what I did there?)
Just spent the day at the pool with good friends, Cosmo’s, what the friend calls “crack dip”, and then (when the Cosmo’s were all gone) a drink that tasted like Chanel #5. I highly do not recommend this drink, unless you plan to pour it on your body, in which case, you will smell marvelous. Just another day at the P & P. (pool and patio for those of you who are new)
I...
Tomorrow my boy is playing at the 2012 Movement: Detroit Electronic Music Festival. (This is huge.) I am so proud and happy for him. I hope he has the time of his life!!!
‘The Man’ has been home 2 days. He noticed the yard work I did. He even noticed I dropped a couple of pounds. Which can only mean one thing, “Who is this guy? And what have you done with my husband??”
All the yard work is done. Let the week-end begin!!!
‘The Man’ gets home tonight. If he doesn’t notice what I did and how hard I worked to make this place look nice, he’s in biiiiig trouble. J/K, he never notices anything. But the yard looks great and I’ll just be over here, in the pool, sipping cocktails, and omg am I sore!!!
Okay, so none of you jokers showed up, so it looks like I have to mow. I’ll be back later to bitch about this, some more, when I’m done.
Oh, and I’m taking you out of the will!!
The front and the back yards are weed-wacked, edged, raked, and leaf-blowed (or whatever the hell you call it). The patio, pool deck, and outdoor furniture are power-washed. Now all I have to do is mow. BUT I DON’T WANT TOOOOOOO. WAAA
I need a raise.. or to stop doing the “man work” around here. Now fetch me a beer, Bud! I gotta go build something. J/K, I’m going to go...
In keeping with the grand tradition of when ‘The Man’ is gone, I, once again, forgot to take the trash out.
So, who wants a bag of slightly used stuff??
Hey Neil Diamond~ I'm Coming to America
I’m wacking the weeds. I’m wearing tube socks to protect my perfect legs that should be insured like Mary Harts, (no they’re not perfect, insurance is not necessary) and my son’s old blue football workout shorts, and a black spaghetti-strap tank top (yum spaghetti), my hair is not clean and it is in an uncombed bun, and I’m pretty sure I smell like an old Polish woman...
We were at the ballpark. I was a fan in the stands. Our softball team was on the field. Our game was in progress….When all of a sudden a bunch of KICKBALL PLAYERS from another field, whose game had just ended, decided to come and sit at the picnic table directly beside our bleachers and next to the dugout of our team… and proceeded to party and drink beers and smoke cigarettes and...
When the dog next door barks at me, I say “settle down doggie, you know me, I’m the same person you bark at every day” …and then he keeps barking.
He’s not the sharpest tack on the bulletin board.
So ‘The Boy’ had this old cd, and he knew it was bad but he wouldn’t throw it away. So I took wire and strung it up outside on my shepherd’s post, just so he would look at it and say “OMG, What the hell is wrong with you?” (cause I secretly love when he says that) But now I think it looks kinda cool, and it’s all glowy in the sun. So, yep, it’s...
Today I am spending at the pool!
OMG! This is really happening.
Yes the pool is open. And it’s very very clean.
And it’s probably only 30 degrees. But I don’t carrre!
(sung in my best opera voice)
Today. By Me.
Today I will trim bushes and trees.
I will try not to scrape my knees.
My body will be sore
But my landscaping you will adore.
Today I will trim bushes and trees.
(this is really going to suck… just like this poem)
I haven’t posted today. (well now I have! )
It looks like we’re going to be in Toronto the weekend of Torontup! What a coinky-dink! I hate when people say coinky-dink. (And now I’ve said it twice.)
That’s all for now. See ya tomorrow!!
The pool is open!!!
I FORGOT TO HAVE MY COFFEE THIS MORNING! I FORGOT TO HAVE MY COFFEE THIS MORNING.
Move the date up on the calendar. The Mayans were wrong. I think it might be today!
And Then There's The Day After Mother's Day
Sometimes I see people complain about their kids, and I feel it is my duty to tell them, that one day those kids will grow up, and get on a plane, and leave you, the day after Mother’s Day… and then you will be sad. Soquitchurbitchin.
(Unless they live in your basement or something, in which case, carry on!)
Today Is A Good Day~
Today is a good day for many many reasons:
1. I am a mom and I have a mom (and a mom-in-law) perfect for Mother’s Day. Don’t ya think??
2. Many, many years ago, ‘The Man’ asked me to marry him on May 13th. It was also Mother’s Day. Because who doesn’t want to get engaged on Mother’s Day. Amirite??
3. I’m going to see all my kids today. By all, I...
It's Like Ra-a-ain On Your Wedding Day...
Hey you guys, You know that outdoor wedding today? The one that I didn’t get invited to? The one that all my friends are going to? And I said “I hope it rains”?? Welp, it’s raining. It’s raining so hard!
Oh shut up. Like I could make it rain.
Really! It’s not my fault. Okay, I feel a little bit bad. But still, NOT. MY. FAULT!!
Salutations of the Day
Let me start out by saying “Happy Friday”. I think sometimes it loses it’s meaning at the end of the post. Or maybe it has MORE meaning at the end of the post? Geez, Friday is hard. We’ll try it in the middle of the post.
I’m excited for ‘The Daughter’ to come home tonight, for tomorrow there will be less inventory in all the area department stores. (Weez...
Between Wednesday and Friday is Today
I woke up with a slight headache, but the sun is shining ..so yay!
I skyped with my Arizona sister for over 4 hours last night. She is so awesome. I love her. We laugh. We drink beer. We laugh. We laugh. We drink beer. Do you see the pattern here? What’s not to love?
My niece had her baby yesterday. Two weeks early. He weighs 5lbs.1oz. That’s not very much, unless it is plastered on...
Yep, looks like Wednesday to me...
Oh, haha, look! It’s raining again. You were the one who was supposed to build the ark, right?
Oh, look! The trash man! You were the one who was supposed to take out the trash, right?
Crap. We’re hosed, Davey. We’re hosed.
So yesterday I did a “reverse Whitney”. (I fell out of the bathtub) I’m fine now. I just have a bruised up leg. There were no traces of coke found in my system. Thank God I quit drinking that crap when I started my diet. (I lie. I had one two days ago.)
‘The Man’s’ on a business trip, so, hello, I’m in charge. Relax, there’s nothing to worry about....
If I had a Kentucky Derby hat, I would wear it today. Because I’m a rebel. Or something. And besides it’s silly to waste money on a hat you’re only going to wear for one day. Hell, I would wear it all week. (and then I would have hat hair)
It’s raining outside so, in my book, that means I don’t have to do anything today. (I’m serious. I’m not doing a...
There was no super moon here. Just super clouds.
I fell asleep early, then was awake from 1-3. That wasn’t particularly super either. *But I did enjoy all YOUR pics of the super moon.
Here’s hoping you have a super Sunday. Now, would somebody bring me a nice, big, cup of coffee? Because, in my book, THAT would be super right about now.
Sarah, your hair is NOT too red. (it’s...
Sitting here watching my neighbor, AKA Donny Dillweed, put up a fence. Seriously, this is better than the three stooges.. Except there’s only one! Whoa ma god!! This is hysterical. Film at 11.
For Cinco de Mayo, ‘The Man’ wants to go to the Polish Home and get pierogies. I don’t think he’s doing this right.
(Or is he? I mean, have you ever had their pierogies???)
Best Cinco de Mayo plan evarrr. ‘The Man’ is a genius!
Shark Tank!
Here’s an idea. When they build airports, they should make little roof thingy’s that come out and cover the planes at the gates. You know, like carports. *For the sake of this post, we shall call them planeports, cause, hello, PLANES!!
Anyways, if they have these little planeport thingy’s it will save lots of time de-icing, (or not), our suitcases won’t get wet when they...
The air conditioner is on.
It’s really nice outside.
I have a headache. ‘The Man’ will say it’s because of the humidity and the rain moving in. He says that every. single. time. Gah, maybe we should get rid of him. No, he unloads the dishwasher. Good help is hard to find. We’ll have to think of something else.
Hey, remember that one time Tom Geller broke all the...
Am I A Proud Mom? Yes. I. Am.
So, my boy is “on the bill” (in the line-up) for the Detroit Electronic Music Festival (DEMF) this year.
This is very cool.
Oh Wednesday, You're So Funny!
…And then I dropped a weight on my foot. No, relax, I wasn’t working out. I was cleaning the basement.
*This kinda sucks, cause I need that foot for walking and stuff.
It’s a damn good thing I’m not on ‘Dancing With The Stars’, because I would be out. (But first there would be a big long film clip about how our fair damsel got in distress!!!) And then my...
Welp, you can cancel this day. My sharpie’s out of ink. :o
Somebody call the Diet Police. We have a serious violation.
But OMG that was soooo good.
Happy Tuesday!
